“What’s the worst thing about traffic?” “The stop and go, the delay, the cars, the people, the pollution, when your crayons melt from the heat.” “No.” “What’s under the tarp?” “It’s part of the presentation.” “Your presentation just moved.” “Bob, focus.” “Uh, I don’t know, what’s the worst thing about traffic.” “The view,” Woodruff said. […]
I won’t keep you in suspense. I did not like Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I did not like it a lot. I have seen the film twice now, my small contribution to its massive financial success. My hopes were high on opening night, as my brother-in-law and I took our seats and basked in […]
“So you’re saying they weren’t even there?” Bob asked. “Scripturally speaking, no,” Woodruff replied. “And the camels?” “I’m afraid not, they are most likely representations that the men came from foreign lands to the east.” “I feel so betrayed.” “The nativity is really a combination of the New Testament account in chapters two of Luke […]
“Wua,” Bob said as waved his arms back and forth. “Bob.” “Wa, ha, cha, wau, hu!” Bob ranted as he spun around with his arm flailing wildly and kicked at the air. “Bob.” “Hiya!” Bob jumped toward Woodruff with a chopping arm motion and stopped just short of Woodruff’s neck. Woodruff reached up slowly and […]
12 Fun and Easy Ways to Support An Author. Pick one or all 12! List and links at the bottom. On the first day of cajoling an author begged from me A nomination for the Whitney’s (Nominate Crooked Top Mountain for a 2018 Whitney Award) On the second day of cajoling an author begged from me […]
“I’m Ashley Baker with Channel 10 Today and we’re here with a pair of record seekers, who set out to do what’s not been done before,” a tall blonde woman with long eyelashes spoke into a black microphone. “What is your name, sir?” “Sir?” Woodruff said. “That’s very fancy, like a knight or Elton John. […]
“Tell me what I want to know or you’ll never see the light of day again!” the man with the sunglasses shouted as he slammed his hands down on the table. “What do you want to know?” Woodruff replied as he clung to Bob. “Yeah, we’ll tell you anything,” Bob said. “In the third grade, […]
Bob hung over the rail of the ship and tossed his cookies into the choppy ocean waters that rocked them back and forth. “Are you gonna make it?” Woodruff asked. “No worries,” Bob said. “I think that was the last of them.” “Good, those cookies were making the turkeys crazy.” “Gama’s triple peanut butter, walnut, […]
“How many times do I have to explain this to you?” Woodruff asked. “Just one more time, I swear,” Bob said. “I’ll get it this time.” “A jackal is more of a scavenger, and a hyena is more of a predator.” “Yeah, but which one is funnier?” “What?” “There are laughing hyenas, are there joking […]
“This is not what I had in mind when you asked if I wanted to play XBOX,” Bob said. “What did you think I was talking about?” Woodruff asked as he placed a tattered cardboard box on the coffee table. “I thought we were going to play Halo or FIFA World Cup.” “Oh, you mean […]