Unreasonable Exposure

“This suit is so hot,” Bob said.  “I feel like it’s trying to suffocate me.” “I told you to go with the spandex,” Woodruff said. “So I can be on display for all the world to see?” Bob asked.  “No thank you.” “I feel light, like a hummingbird,” Woodruff replied. “You look like a Ken […]

Uno es el Numero mas Solitango

“Cinco empanadas, por favor,” Woodruff said.  He reached for the first meat pastry.  “How many do you want?” He turned around to see only unfamiliar faces, of friends yet to be made, filling the marketplace. “Bob?” he turned his raised eyebrow away from the sea of swarthy consumers and back to the business at hand.  […]

Foot In Big Mouth

The wind hollered across the serenely calm lake as the moonlight glimmered off its rippling waters. “Bob!” Woodruff called again. When no answer came, Woodruff stepped down onto the sandy banks of the wooded island.  A pair of footprints trailed off the beach into the brush.  Kenny stood at the edge of the bridge and […]

When We Come To It

“How much further?” Kenny asked. “If you ask me that one more time, Kenny, I’ll turn this bridge around,” Bob said.  “You just keep hammering.” “My hammering hand is tired,” Kenny replied. “Then use your other hand,” Bob said. “Oh, okay,” Kenny switched hammer from his left to his right hand and finished pounding the […]

Calls It How He Eats It

“This is the life,” Woodruff said. “We needed this,” Bob replied. “No doubt,” Woodruff agreed. Woodruff reached into a small Styrofoam cup and pulled out a muddy, wriggly, worm.  He quickly expanded a fish rod and caught hold of the hook dangling off the end of the line.  With the hook in one hand and […]

Horseplay

Woodruff strummed his fingers against a wooden countertop and looked listlessly out the front window at Bob twirling an arrow-shaped sign in a circle.  A cold breeze blew in through the door that was propped open by a giant horseshoe.   Bob tossed the sign in the air and tried to catch it behind his back.  […]

Farewell, Aquarius

Many of you may not be aware of this, but my brother Adam is a rock star.  And I don’t mean that like “Thanks man, you’re a rock star.”  I mean he is a real live rock and roll musician.  I’ll admit I am late to the game on his newest album, released in September, […]

Ain’t No Party

“We’re here talking to an unusual political candidate,” the blonde newswoman spoke into the camera.  “This first of its kind political team is running as a single entity for a seat in the state assembly.  Woodruff and Bob, thank you for being here.” “Thank you for having us, Janice,” Bob said. “It’s Suzanne.” “Of course […]

All About That Bounce

“How much longer are we going to do this?” “This is important, Bob.” “Is it?” “Yes, it is.” “Is it?” Bob laid a penetrating look on Woodruff, who ignored him.  The hum of machinery filled the massive manufacturing floor.  Workers scurried about, covered head to toe in bright white jumpsuits.  Woodruff pulled on a pair […]

Died On The Vine

“Boom!” Bob slapped down a card on the cherry wood tea table.  “Draw four.” “Shoot.” Woodruff picked up a yellow pencil and began to sketch rapidly on a small pad of paper.  He scribbled out four separate images of rubber ducks and handed it over to Bob. “Come to daddy, duckies.” “Okay, my turn,” Woodruff […]