Idiom Proof

Woodruff and Bob sat on stools behind two large easels, which supported their own white canvas rectangles.  Green rolling hills stretched out for miles to the distant horizon beyond a wide open field.  A string of horses grazed quietly beneath the setting sun. “This evening could not be any prettier, don’t you think?” “Do you […]

Gloves Off

The noonday sun reflected off the shiny hood of the cherry-red Karmann Ghia, as it rolled up to the guard shack.  Woodruff removed his aviator sunglasses with a snap of his head toward the overweight security guard. “W and B to see Michela.” “I’m gonna need to see some ID,” the security guard said, as […]

Oh, The Places They’ll Go

“How long is this flight anyway?” Bob asked. “Mr. Geisel’s secretary said it was thirteen hours,” Woodruff replied. “Ah!  This is going to be the longest flight ever!” Bob said.  “I’m so bored.” “Here’s a remedy,” Woodruff handed Bob a small booklet.  “Do a crossword puzzle.” “Does it have a maze?” Hopefully, Bob flipped through […]

The Naturals

“Woodruff and Bob, you’re up,” Master Chef Heirnon said. “Hehe,” Bob giggled.  “He said Woodruff and Bob Europe.” “No, he said you’re up, you are up,” Woodruff said.  “As in, it’s our turn.” “I know, but we’re in Europe and he said you’re up.” “Focus Bob.” “Right.” Bob adjusted his toque blanche and stepped to […]

Not My Jam

“I’m so excited!” “Me too!” “Do you think we’ll get to see Bigfoot?” “The guy who sold me the tickets guaranteed it.” “Woodruff, this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened.” “Totally.  And I can cross ‘Meet a legendary creature’ off my bucket list.” “I thought we did that when we went parasailing with The […]

The Greatest Snowman

“A nervous hush has fallen over this crowd as we wait for two revolutionaries to take the ice.” “Two revolutionaries and a snowman.” “Right you are, Barbara, don’t discount that snowman.” “Chuck, I haven’t been this excited since I found out Mylie Cyrus wears spanx.” “The tension in the air is palpable, just one skate […]

Lost Dog

“Do you hear that?” “What?” “A phone,” Bob said.  “A phone is ringing.” “A phone?” Woodruff asked.  “A phone from where?” “A phone, a phone is ringing.” “You just said that sentence double.” “I just said that sentence double?” “You just said that sentence double, right there.” “Ooh!” Bob exclaimed.  “It’s a baby dog, stuck […]

This Mean This

Woodruff crouched next to Bob in a muddy wash, the roots of a mighty tree jutted out of the ground between them.  They fought, in vain, against their panting breaths as quietly as they could.  Woodruff’s hair was matted to his head in a sweaty mess, while Bob’s face and neck was covered with mud […]

Nothing But Nest

“Is that the last McGriddle?” Woodruff asked. Bob dug through the wadded up napkins in the greasy bag, until he found the bottom.  He looked at the breakfast sandwich, wrapped in yellow paper, and then back at Woodruff.  With a solemn nod of his head, Bob confirmed the awful truth. “I’ll play you for it,” […]

Raiders of the Last Gardyloo

A white mist covered the top of the waters as the skiff sailed forward.  Even without the fog, their visibility would have been limited by the thick leaves crowding the narrow waterway.  Woodruff leaned over the bow and peered through the haze. “You ever wonder what they do with the sleeves from sleeveless shirts?” Bob […]