Box of Chicks

“This is not what I had in mind when you asked if I wanted to play XBOX,” Bob said. “What did you think I was talking about?” Woodruff asked as he placed a tattered cardboard box on the coffee table. “I thought we were going to play Halo or FIFA World Cup.” “Oh, you mean […]

World’s Best, Amigo

“Well?” Bob asked. “Oh my goodness,” Woodruff mumbled with a mouthful of food. “Yeah?” “Oh yeah.” Woodruff picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth. “Do we need to keep looking?” Bob asked “Nope, these are them.” “The best?” “No doubt.” Bob did a little dance in his chair and Woodruff pulled a crumpled piece […]

Ghost Pig

Long shadows waved slowly back and forth across the dark grounds.  Woodruff and Bob lay on their backs in the damp grass and peered up into the starry sky.  A howling breeze whistled through the creaky trees. “Woodruff, this isn’t a good idea.” “What do you mean?” “I don’t like this.” “Which part?” “The part […]

Time To Make The Violets

“Bob,” Woodruff said. With focus and determination, Bob kept his eyes down on an array of colors that passed from right to left.  The hum of motors and mechanisms churned all around them. “Bob.” Bob’s hands moved rapidly back and forth with tiny machine-like motions. “Bob!” A loud whistle blew and the assembly line stopped […]

A Pocket Full of Danger

“Two noble adventures strode deep into the heart of darkest Africa.  Why would they brave this treacherous continent?  How might their mettle be tested?  What treasure lies in their path?  When will they reach their breaking point?  Who will rescue them from the brink of insanity?  Where in the hedge are they?” “Are you going […]

You Can’t Spell Healthy Without Y

“Is heart burn one word or two?” Bob asked. “Use it in a sentence,” Woodruff replied. “Three easy ways to tell whether it’s heart burn or heart attack,” Bob read. “One word,” Woodruff said.  “Is that your article this week?” “Yep,” Bob said.  “What are you working on?” “A follow up piece on the squatty […]

Brauts Away

“Walruses really don’t like tomatoes,” Bob said. “I tried to tell you,” Woodruff replied. “That was one grumpy walrus.” “Who knew they could throw so far?” Woodruff and Bob walked along the icy coast.  Bob pulled up the fury hood of his parka, to cover his bald head from the chilling winds.  Several brightly colored […]

Jell-o Ono

“There’s good, and then there’s perfect,” Woodruff said. “That was perfect,” Bob said. “Better than perfect.” “Perfect plus.” “Perfect to the max.” “Perfectsaurus Rex.” “Booya!” Woodruff said as he held his hand high in the air.  Bob jumped up and chest bumped Woodruff, knocking him backwards into a tambourine stand. “How’d that sound in there, […]

You Can’t Get Mad From A Turnip

“It really is a versatile vegetable,” Bob said. “You can say that again,” Woodruff mumbled with a mouth full of salad. “But I didn’t say that,” Bob replied, as he shoved another fork full into his mouth. Woodruff eyed his friend and shook his head. “You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, […]