Pardon My Poupon

With a jackhammer like motion, Bob ran a large knife from one end of a cutting board to the other.  Tiny brown and yellow pebbles bounced in all directions. “There, see?” Bob said. “You’re not so much cutting as crunching,” Woodruff replied. “They are cut.” “More like smashed.” “Well this is impossible.” “I told you […]

Show Me

Putting one foot carefully in front of the next, Woodruff and Bob made their way slowly toward the back of a bright yellow van.  Bob signaled with his hands for Woodruff to move to the passenger’s side of the windowless vehicle, while he crept quietly around to his left.  The two moved slowly and silently, […]

Con Permiso

Woodruff and Bob knelt over a long piece of paper, stretched out on a hot sidewalk.  A towering building rose up beyond a large grass-covered campus.  Bob grimaced thoughtfully, while Woodruff peered down at the drawings like an art critic. “Okay, we have to stop with the revisions,” Woodruff said.  “This is it.” “You think […]

Idiom Proof

Woodruff and Bob sat on stools behind two large easels, which supported their own white canvas rectangles.  Green rolling hills stretched out for miles to the distant horizon beyond a wide open field.  A string of horses grazed quietly beneath the setting sun. “This evening could not be any prettier, don’t you think?” “Do you […]

Gloves Off

The noonday sun reflected off the shiny hood of the cherry-red Karmann Ghia, as it rolled up to the guard shack.  Woodruff removed his aviator sunglasses with a snap of his head toward the overweight security guard. “W and B to see Michela.” “I’m gonna need to see some ID,” the security guard said, as […]

Oh, The Places They’ll Go

“How long is this flight anyway?” Bob asked. “Mr. Geisel’s secretary said it was thirteen hours,” Woodruff replied. “Ah!  This is going to be the longest flight ever!” Bob said.  “I’m so bored.” “Here’s a remedy,” Woodruff handed Bob a small booklet.  “Do a crossword puzzle.” “Does it have a maze?” Hopefully, Bob flipped through […]

The Naturals

“Woodruff and Bob, you’re up,” Master Chef Heirnon said. “Hehe,” Bob giggled.  “He said Woodruff and Bob Europe.” “No, he said you’re up, you are up,” Woodruff said.  “As in, it’s our turn.” “I know, but we’re in Europe and he said you’re up.” “Focus Bob.” “Right.” Bob adjusted his toque blanche and stepped to […]

Not My Jam

“I’m so excited!” “Me too!” “Do you think we’ll get to see Bigfoot?” “The guy who sold me the tickets guaranteed it.” “Woodruff, this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened.” “Totally.  And I can cross ‘Meet a legendary creature’ off my bucket list.” “I thought we did that when we went parasailing with The […]

The Greatest Snowman

“A nervous hush has fallen over this crowd as we wait for two revolutionaries to take the ice.” “Two revolutionaries and a snowman.” “Right you are, Barbara, don’t discount that snowman.” “Chuck, I haven’t been this excited since I found out Mylie Cyrus wears spanx.” “The tension in the air is palpable, just one skate […]

Lost Dog

“Do you hear that?” “What?” “A phone,” Bob said.  “A phone is ringing.” “A phone?” Woodruff asked.  “A phone from where?” “A phone, a phone is ringing.” “You just said that sentence double.” “I just said that sentence double?” “You just said that sentence double, right there.” “Ooh!” Bob exclaimed.  “It’s a baby dog, stuck […]