Long shadows waved slowly back and forth across the dark grounds. Woodruff and Bob lay on their backs in the damp grass and peered up into the starry sky. A howling breeze whistled through the creaky trees. “Woodruff, this isn’t a good idea.” “What do you mean?” “I don’t like this.” “Which part?” “The part […]
“Bob,” Woodruff said. With focus and determination, Bob kept his eyes down on an array of colors that passed from right to left. The hum of motors and mechanisms churned all around them. “Bob.” Bob’s hands moved rapidly back and forth with tiny machine-like motions. “Bob!” A loud whistle blew and the assembly line stopped […]
“Two noble adventures strode deep into the heart of darkest Africa. Why would they brave this treacherous continent? How might their mettle be tested? What treasure lies in their path? When will they reach their breaking point? Who will rescue them from the brink of insanity? Where in the hedge are they?” “Are you going […]
“Is heart burn one word or two?” Bob asked. “Use it in a sentence,” Woodruff replied. “Three easy ways to tell whether it’s heart burn or heart attack,” Bob read. “One word,” Woodruff said. “Is that your article this week?” “Yep,” Bob said. “What are you working on?” “A follow up piece on the squatty […]
“Walruses really don’t like tomatoes,” Bob said. “I tried to tell you,” Woodruff replied. “That was one grumpy walrus.” “Who knew they could throw so far?” Woodruff and Bob walked along the icy coast. Bob pulled up the fury hood of his parka, to cover his bald head from the chilling winds. Several brightly colored […]
“There’s good, and then there’s perfect,” Woodruff said. “That was perfect,” Bob said. “Better than perfect.” “Perfect plus.” “Perfect to the max.” “Perfectsaurus Rex.” “Booya!” Woodruff said as he held his hand high in the air. Bob jumped up and chest bumped Woodruff, knocking him backwards into a tambourine stand. “How’d that sound in there, […]
“It really is a versatile vegetable,” Bob said. “You can say that again,” Woodruff mumbled with a mouth full of salad. “But I didn’t say that,” Bob replied, as he shoved another fork full into his mouth. Woodruff eyed his friend and shook his head. “You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, […]
“If you sat on a voodoo doll of yourself, would you be able to stand back up?” Woodruff asked. “Dude, you’re blowing my mind right now,” Bob said. “Think about it,” Woodruff said. “You’d be stuck there forever.” “I’d totally come and push you off of it.” “That’s if you’re not stuck on top of […]
“I dost not see why thou art so upset,” Bob spoke in melodic fashion. “Are you kidding me?” Woodruff replied. “This wast on thy list.” “Not exactly.” “Ay, tis exactly what thou wrote,” Bob argued. He walked over to a wooden crate, beneath rack of knobs with several rope pulleys tied to them. Bob beckoned […]
Every storyteller knows that a great story is one-part truth and two-parts lie. But I once knew an unlikely pair that needed no such recipe. Their adventures and antics were far from believable and, therefore, would’ve made for terrible fiction. However, a study of their tales and troubles as a work of non-fiction would’ve also […]